Friday, March 5, 2010

Fear

In a comment to my previous post, the ever-prolific Anonymous wondered if there was some part of the brain that could be deactivated to turn off the fearful anticipation of asking medical supervisors for help.  And I am here with good news, o my friends!

It's well known amongst nerdy science types that fear, especially fear of senior doctors, is mediated by a small structure deep in the brain called the amygdala.  Interestingly, amygdala is Latin for almond.  A favourite dish of the Romans at orgies was the almond-stuffed amygdala extracted from gladiators.  Originally the amygdala was taken from dead gladiators, since they were in ready supply.  However, under Emperor Clavdivs the Veeth, extraction of the amygdala from live gladiators became more popular.  This not only meant that the amygdala was fresher and more delicious, it also had the beneficial side effect of driving the gladiators nuts.

An anamygdalic gladiator knew no fear.  He would pick up his weapons and run to the nearest hospital, force his way into the operating theatres, and begin his grisly work.  Thus was the ancient discipline of surgery born.

So if, like me, you quail at the thought of injecting yourself into a medical procedure, why not inquire with your GP about having your amygdala removed?  A procedure in the clinic under local anaesthetic will see you become bold, fearless, eager to try out new barbarities on helpless patients, totally oblivious to the results of your social brutality, and climbing the ladder of success rung by rung every day!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

peleo

PTR said...

Yes, I confess I hadn't previously considered that!